Kirstie Allsopp is right, our 15 year olds should be able to holiday alone

Two parents debate whether Kirstie Allsopp was right to allow her 15-year-old to go interrailing without parental supervision. Read the ‘in defence of’ article here.

When Kirstie Allsopp posts something on X, I’m often the first to roll my eyes and disagree with her.

But not this time. In fact, I think her latest post is one of the best things she’s ever announced.

I may well be in the minority – but I’m sticking to my guns on this one.

The Location, Location, Location star has come under fire for sending her 15-year-old son off interrailing around Europe with his 16-year-old friend. Horrified adults are calling her out for sending her son off into Europe; that it’s a dangerous decision in our dangerous times, listing the many terrible things that could befall her son. 

But I disagree. 

She tweeted: ‘…in this increasingly risk averse world it’s vital that we find any ways we can to give our children the confidence that only comes from trusting them.’

As a mum of a tween and a teen myself, I wholeheartedly agree with her – letting her child go off into Europe is character-building.

I have a 15-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter. Despite the world seeming a dangerous place (certainly if you read social media), I allow my eldest a level of freedom a lot of other mums don’t.

He goes camping, travels by train on his own, works out how to get home if said trains are invariably late or cancelled – and I’d certainly be happy, in the coming months, to set him free on a train in Europe.

In my job as a writer, I have interviewed lots of older people for memoirs about their lives. I’ve spoken to at least four older men now in their 80s, who ‘ran away’ to join the navy, army and even the special boat service aged just 16. They’d had to face adulthood and hardship early on and it had built their characters for life.

I’d sit taking notes, in awe at how young they’d been when they’d had to make huge decisions, leave their families and go out into the world.

But they weren’t afraid of what was out there. They were excited.

Fast forward several decades and we are babying teens and adults for longer and longer. Our kids live with us longer and our teens spend more time on their phones looking at the world instead of seeing it for real.

Why not start early (which still isn’t really early at all, compared to previous generations) and let them learn a little about the world, culture and travel – and about having to think for themselves?

I can see why some parents are vilifying Kirstie. In our 24/7 world of social media the world seems a terrifying place. 

And it can be terrifying. But social media is a vacuum – a place where a fear of terrorist attacks, muggings and violence can be amplified. It’s easy to forget on social media that there are nice people in the world – helpful individuals, kind strangers – and wonderful unknowns to be discovered. 

I won’t let the fear that something bad may happen stop my children from seeing all the world has to offer. 

And, besides, she didn’t send her dear son into Kabul or Syria – he travelled to Madrid, Brussels, Paris and other cities popular with holidaymakers and relatively close to home.

Interrailing used to be a rite of passage 20 years or so ago. It was a comparatively cheap way to see Europe and learn a little about the world.

I didn’t have the money to do this in my youth, but I did take a university exchange to Canada when I was 19 and spent five months sleeping on a mattress with nothing more than a sleeping bag in Alberta.

It wasn’t easy. I was thousands of miles from home. I had very little grant money. But it shaped me for life. With four other girls we managed to furnish our empty student flat with the kindness of strangers (sofas, chairs, even blow-up lilos for a bed). We had no mobile phones so our parents didn’t know where we were.

But we looked out for each other and came back in one piece – with tons of stories to tell.

Now, I know 19 is a lot older than 15 – but the sentiment remains.

We have to allow our kids to try – to face fears, to work out strategies, to learn. And travel is a wonderful way to do that.

So as the nation debates Kirstie’s decision, I stand firmly in her camp.

Our children are not there to be hidden away and coddled. They’re young people who need to experience life in order to become fully functioning adults, and if they make amazing memories on the way…all the better.

Surely the job of a parent is to equip them with the skills to be a fearless adult?

As Kirstie herself said regarding her choice to let her son go off: ‘If we’re afraid our children will also be afraid, if we let go, they will fly’.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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