"There are plenty of actors who just run screaming, and then go sit down and write an email. I'm not that person."
"Can you imagine if the air was just filled with dust particles and you literally could not breathe?" That's what Sarah Paulson is tackling in her new film Hold Your Breath (October 3). Paulson plays Margaret, a Dust Bowl-era mother who's slowly descending into madness after being plagued by a perceived spirit. "The moment you're confronted with a larger problem, like Margaret is, that very tightly coiled survival tactic quickly just unwinds itself." After a series of performances where Paulson has played women descending into madness, she admits it can take its toll. "There are plenty of actors who just run screaming, and then go sit down and write an email. I'm not that person.... Your brain knows you're pretending, but your body doesn't. The body keeps score." There's a chance Paulson will be able to take a break from trauma in Ryan Murphy's upcoming legal drama All's Fair starring Kim Kardashian, Glenn Close and Naomi Watts. "It's an embarrassment of riches, really. You want to pay me to go to work, quote, unquote, with the legend that is Glenn Close?"
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Editor's Note: This conversation has been edited and condensed for publication.
Last time we spoke you didn't have eyebrows in preparation to play Linda Tripp in American Crime Story: Impeachment and you didn't have a Tony Award. Now you have both of those things, which is incredible.
Let me tell you something, Linda Tripp, that was one of the great things in the world I got to do, but it did not give me a Tony Award.
I was very angry it didn't give you an Emmy Award either. I believe I turned off the television momentarily. Which is what I do when I'm furious. Anyway, your new movie Hold Your Breath is fantastic. What made you want to do this film?
God, what in the world would make me not want to do this film? There's nothing more terrifying than movies in this genre that are rooted in reality, or in the very potent possibility that something like this could happen. And I'm not talking about what happens to Margaret over the course of the movie, but I'm talking about the initial event of the dust storms that are really walls of dust, tsunamis of dust. When I read the script, I thought, how did I miss this? Not that I wasn't aware of that time in our country's history in terms of this circumstance that we created, by the way, in sort of overzealous farming that then, in that part of the world, there's not a single mountain, there's nothing to keep the wind or the weather from sort of doing what it wants to do. There's nothing to buffer it. And so I watched the Ken Burns documentary [The Dust Bowl], and I thought, "Oh, the Ken Burns documentary is more terrifying than the script." Because I thought you could just see these people talking about what they went through and their families and what they went through. And I thought, "Oh, God, it just felt like, not to reuse this word, but potent world to live in." Just absolutely delicious ground from which to jump into this world.
And it's such a good example of the set up for a terrifying story where anything can happen. Because when the world around you is falling apart, everything can seemingly fall apart.
You can't see anything. You can't feed your family. You're not even safe in your home. The dust can get in everywhere, through every crack. And remember, back when the homes that were being built in this part of the world, and probably generally throughout the country, it wasn't like a ton of cement. It was wood and nail, hammer and nails and wood. And Margaret had obviously gone through a terrible tragedy, losing a child already, which wasn't uncommon then either. I just thought, "Oh, what an interesting world to inhabit." I haven't seen a movie about this subject matter depicted in this way and with an opportunity to kind of have a real descendant of madness, which is my favorite.
What's so great about the film is you can feel the terror from the simplest of things: dust. You probably don't have this problem, but when you have ants in your home...
All over the place. I, too, have ants.
Well then you know, you start to feel them all over you. The dust is similar.
Frightening. How many times have you looked around your home and if the sun is hitting in a particular way, you see all of the particles that are in the air? Now, what if it were you could not inhale? Think about when you get like a tiny cracker in your throat. Can you imagine if the air was just filled with dust particles and you literally could not breathe? Which is why I like the title so much, to hold your breath, because there does come a point where you can hold it no longer. And then what?
What was it about this character your responded to?
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am an absolute and utter control freak. I'm a Virgo rising with the Sagittarius sun, which makes me crazy. I'm just really constantly at war with myself. It's just this constant battle, internal battle I have for order. And so there was something I could really relate to about Margaret's need for order. Partly, it wasn't just a character trait of hers, but it was a survival tool, a mechanism for her to survive. You sort of see the difference between her and everyone else in the film in terms of how she tries to keep the family. Their bright summer whites and their creams, and just constantly sweeping. She has that scene with Annaleigh [Ashford] and the other women in the town just saying, "You could try cleaning." Because she thinks that's a way of managing everything, the only way to manage it. And partly just because, when you're left to your own devices, like what you were saying before, the thought of the ants, the thought of the only way to bat it away for herself was to just make sure she was as on top of it as possible. And just the way it is for all of us in life, really, we do all the things that we do to sort of stave off this terrible fear of death. The big dirt nap is coming for everyone, right?
So how do we manage those things and that existential crisis? And so, you decide that everything in your life is just oh so important to just focus on every little detail, and that will keep it all at bay. But it doesn't really work. And the moment you're confronted with a larger problem, a real problem like Margaret is in the movie, that very tightly coiled survival tactic really quickly just unwinds itself. And I can relate to this idea of trying to manage everything by a real sense of order control. So I thought, "Well, that I can relate to," and I was sort of interested in the idea of what happens to the mind when you literally cannot. You cannot control the environment. You cannot control the weather. You cannot make it rain. So this idea of what would happen to a person who felt they could control everything with a certain kind of fastidiousness and if all that just went away, what would happen to the psyche, what would happen to her behavior? And I was really interested in that, because I keep myself really far away from that situation, where I just always got it worked out. I was like, "What if I didn't?" And so I thought that would be an interesting challenge.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'll say it forever and ever, because I hope to always work in this genre. I do feel like the beauty of it is, I love to do things where the stakes are inordinately high, because then there is no limit to what a person might do. And so then everything's on the table in terms of possibility of response. And I think that makes me feel really free as a performer. If the stakes are that high, it's literally life and death, which is what often happens in this genre, because it's quite literal. You're going to die. It just means that that there was no limit to what I could play. And that is all so thrilling,
And you do it so well, which is surprising because you don't like scary movies.
I was watching a documentary last night, and it went to some very scary place, and I just closed the computer. I was like, "What am I doing? This is not good." And then subsequently, I had a terrible night's sleep. It's not for me. I don't like to watch it.
Which is so, so interesting. But in terms of your performance, you are able to get to that place. I mean, your scream is iconic at this point. How do you get to a place where you feel comfortable enough to do that?
I think the beauty of it is that, funnily enough—and no one will believe this, except for people who know me—I can be quite shy. It's not an uncommon thing you'll hear from actors. They just love to do the thing they don't actually feel comfortable doing in life. There are plenty of actors who just run screaming, and then go sit down and write an email. I'm not that person. It does cost me something in a way that one might question the sanity of that choice. I had a conversation with another actor, a very famous one, we talked about the consequence of living inside these things and these characters that we play. Your brain knows you're pretending, quote, unquote, but your body doesn't. The body keeps score. My poor body must think like I'm in real trouble, lots of trauma. So I think the only way for me to do it is to just believe it with every fiber of my being that it is happening, and then it just comes out of me that way.
You've previously worked with Ebon Moss-Bachrach and Annaleigh Ashford. What was it like working with them again?
Well, Annaleigh and I didn't have any scenes together in Impeachment, which was really upsetting to both of us because we have a real mutual admiration. I think she's so extraordinary. And so when Karrie Crouse and William [Joines] were like, "We are thinking of Annaleigh for that part." I just was like, "Oh my God." I would get to actually work with her, which I hadn't really gotten to do before. We only really got to be around each other while we were promoting Impeachment. So this was really, really thrilling. I love working with a person for whom I have enormous respect as a human being, and who's also able to keep it all in the right space. Her family and her personal life are much more important to her than this sh** we're doing. It's really nice to be around people like that, because sometimes I think I get a little nut-jobby in the head where I'm like, "What do you mean? What is my life? I have no life. This is my life. My life is doing that play for seven and a half months, almost eight months." And there comes a point where I was like, "I guess this is what I'm doing for the rest of my life."
Like, when you get that pain and you're like, "Well, this is my life. I have forever back pain."
Exactly, yes. And then Ebon [Moss-Bachrach] and I—I've been a fan of his and have known him from back in the day in New York—We were coming up together at the same time, and I just had such enormous respect for him. I think he is, I've said this before, everyone was like losing their mind over Jeremy Allen White—as well they should, he is an extraordinary actor—and it was like this discovery of this great new talent. And then I kept going, "Why is no one talking about Ebon?" And then, of course, everybody caught on.
I have to ask you about All's Fair. The cast! Naomi Watts, Glenn Close, Niecy Nash, and Kim Kardashian! This is just insane.
And that's how I feel about it, too. When Ryan called me, I was like, "You want me to what? You want me to with who?" Oh my God. It's one of those things where it's like, it's an embarrassment of riches, really. You want to pay me to go to work, quote, unquote, with the legend that is Glenn Close? I mean, I've been lucky, I've worked with some real greats. I've worked with Cate Blanchett. I've worked with Jessica Lange. I've worked with Melanie Lynskey. Diane Keaton! I've had these experiences of working with these. Meryl Streep I got to work with, very briefly, but in that Steven Spielberg movie, The Post with Tom Hanks. I've worked with all of these incredible actors, but I hadn't worked with Glenn Close, and I was like, "Ryan, after everything you've given me, you're going to give me that, too?" I could just die. And Naomi, whom I love and have always been a massive fan of. And Niecy, who I've worshiped since Getting On. I mean, Getting On to me is just, I can't even talk about it. And I remember being at the Emmys, they do this thing where you get your certificate the night before or the weekend before the ceremony, and you get a certificate saying you've been nominated. You stand up and you take this class photo with all the people, and Niecy and I were standing next to each other, and she was just like, couldn't believe it. And I was like, couldn't believe it. And I was like, "Girl, you are the the epitome of greatness, and just like the greatest actress in the world."
And Kim, I have to say, I have met Kim, she probably won't remember this at all, but I met her at an In Style party 18 years ago or something. One of my first post-award ceremony parties. And I remember us waiting to go on the red carpet together. She was so lovely. The same thing happened to me at the Met Gala one year. She was so lovely to me. I happen to think she's fantastic. She was so great on [American Horror Story] Delicate. I've read the first two scripts of All's Fair, she's going to blow everyone away, that is a fact. And I just am excited to hang out with her. Is it bad that I just can't wait to go to the big cast dinner where I hopefully sit next to Kim Kardashian, just ask her every question about everything I've ever wanted to know about beauty products. I'm into Kim Kardashian. I've always been into Kim Kardashian. She's so lovely. All of them have always been, every one of them. I met Kylie at the Met Gala this year. I was like, "I love you." And she was like, "I love you." For all I know she thinks I'm Sarah Polley. I think a lot of people think that, like they can't quite figure out who I am. And, "Are you Kristen Wiig?" I get that a lot. And Adele, all these people.
I'm really looking forward to what I'm sure will be a rollicking good time. We've got all of these incredible actresses, and it's just, I can't tell you anything about what happens, except for people are going to eat it up with a f****** spoon. It's going to be the most delicious, fun, sexy, funny, bingy. What happened with your brain emoji [you mentioned], that's what's happening on the page. And we haven't even started yet. I just feel like I'm going to be a little bit like a kid at a candy store.
I'm just excited for you to be on the season of The Kardashians.
I mean, I'm hoping she's gonna have some gathering at her house. Let the cameras roll. I watched that show. I am ready for it. I am ready to see Kris Jenner with a martini or 10 or whatever. Just bring them on. I love a martini.
I have to say, I don't know who I need to call to make a sequel to Ocean's 8 happen, but we need one desperately. Like I just need that press tour for my own sanity. It's my therapy, all of you together.
Listen, I would love that more than anything. Working with those girls was really fun. And, I've worked with Cate three times now, and we really have a laughing problem together. It's really kind of unhinged and amazing. I'm ready for more of that. Sandy Bullock, too, Annie [Hathaway], Awkwafina, Mindy [Kaling], all of them. Rihanna! Just bring it back. Yeah, I wish we'd make another movie. I'm all for it. I'm game if someone wants to do it, but no one is calling me about it, so I don't know what to say.
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H. Alan ScottShare on Twitter
A writer/comedian based in Los Angeles. Host of the weekly podcast Parting Shot with H. Alan Scott, every week H. Alan is joined by a different celebrity. Past guests include Tom Hanks, Keke Palmer, Melissa McCarthy, Michelle Yeoh, Jeff Probst, Tiffany Haddish, Jamie Lee Curtis, Idris Elba, Bette Midler, and many more. He also writes the Parting Shot portion of the magazine, the iconic last page of every issue. Subscribe to H. Alan's For the Culture newsletter, everything you need to know in pop culture delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday. H. Alan has previously appeared on The Jimmy Kimmel Show, Ellen, CNN, MTV, and has published work in Esquire, OUT Magazine and VICE. Follow him @HAlanScott.
A writer/comedian based in Los Angeles. Host of the weekly podcast Parting Shot with H. Alan Scott, ... Read more
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