Men dismiss women’s UTI agony — here’s the burning truth

‘It was excruciating,’ says 27-year-old Grace Redwood, on having a urinary tract infection (UTI). ‘I felt nauseous and not on this planet.’

Grace, who works in PR, experienced cold shivers, a fever and agonising back and stomach pain due to a UTI. The situation got so bad, that she contracted sepsis – a fatal condition.

‘I ended up having to call an ambulance as my lips went blue, my temperature was sky high and I was completely dazed,’ she says.

‘When the paramedics arrived, they were convinced I had appendicitis, even though I didn’t have pain in my side.’

It’s taken months for Grace, from London, to recover, and she’s still taking antibiotics. ‘My boyfriend didn’t really believe that a UTI could be that painful,’ she says.

‘It was only when he saw how ill I got, that he realised just how serious they can be.’

A UTI is usually caused by bacteria (often E.coli) from poo entering the urinary tract – because women have a shorter urethra than men, they are more prone to infection. Symptoms include a persistent urge to urinate, a burning sensation during urination, and passing frequent, small amounts of urine. Other symptoms can include pelvic pain in women, and rectal pain in men. Severe cases can involve fever, chills, nausea, and vomiting.

Although it is possible for men to get UTIs, it’s overwhelmingly a problem faced by women (around half of women and a fifth of men suffer). And now, new research has revealed that a staggering 71% of men – who have never had a UTI – don’t think they can be that painful.

Like those who blindly assume that childbirth has nothing on a kick in the balls, it seems the study, by Newfoundland Diagnostics, shows that men once again have opinions that go beyond their experience.

So, where do these misconceptions come from? Dr Chung Tang, medical director at Pall Mall Medical, says: ‘Generally, UTIs are more common in women so men might be less familiar with the symptoms and the severity of the discomfort they cause.

‘Men are often conditioned to downplay pain and discomfort, sticking to societal expectations of the tough-guy image. This cultural expectation can lead them to playdown or dismiss the pain of a UTI.’

There’s also the belief that UTIs are a temporary condition. But research suggests that 25% of women with at least one UTI will go onto have recurrent UTIs – and some people live with the symptoms constantly, due to ‘embedded’ or ‘long-term’ UTIs.

Shockingly, around 6,000 people die from hospital UTIs every year – about four in 100 – and the rate rises to one in 10 for people aged over 95.

As with so many women’s health issues, the area is seriously under-researched. There is just one research centre focused on recurring UTIs based in the UK.

Lead researcher, Dr Rajvinder Khasriya, told the Independent that patients are feeling ‘dismissed, not being believed, being told this is “just women’s issues”, and that they’ve got to put up with it.’

There’s now even a patient advocacy group, Live UTI Free, which teaches women how to advocate for themselves, and ensure proper testing and treatment.

Mo Carrier, 27, from Manchester, dealt with recurrent UTIs at university. She said she experienced ‘constant pain’ in her lower abdomen, a dull ache and pressure in her pelvic area.

‘I remember being in a lecture and I had to leave the room because I was in so much pain and couldn’t think about anything other than needing to go to the toilet,’ she says.

‘You’re temporarily relieved that you can pee but then immediately in pain.

‘I always felt a strong urge to pee, even when there was hardly anything to pass. When I did manage to go to the toilet, there was a sharp, burning sensation’.

Mo says she got UTIs almost every time she had sex. She would visit the doctor who prescribed antibiotics, but she’d have to repeat this process every time she had a UTI, which was often. ‘I felt like I was constantly in and out of the doctor’s surgery,’ she recalls.

Eventually she was given an antibiotic to take every time she had sex, but this left Mo getting interstitial cystitis, also known as bladder pain syndrome – a long-term, and poorly understood condition which can cause intense pelvic pain, incontinence, and difficulty peeing.

She says her partner at the time was unsympathetic. ‘I don’t remember my partner being involved at all. He didn’t really look after me when I was in pain.’

Mo, who is now a sexual wellness expert and founder of MyBliss, believes men don’t think UTIs are painful because they don’t get them as frequently. ‘Unless you have personally experienced the pain of a UTI, it’s easy to view them as temporary and only painful when you actually go to the toilet,’ she says.

Grace agrees that it’s simply a numbers game. ‘I don’t know a single man that’s ever suffered from a UTI,’ she says. ‘But I don’t have enough hands to count the amount of women I know that have had one’.

Christian Coker, 38, from London, however, can certainly speak to the fact that UTIs are painful – having had one himself.

‘After a few days of discomfort, I checked in with my GP,’ the fitness instructor tells Metro.co.uk. ‘I also went to my sexual health clinic for a check-up as I suspected it may have been an STI. The last thought I had on my mind was that it was a UTI, as I thought men couldn’t get them.’

After being prescribed antibiotics, the symptoms cleared up after around a day. ‘I felt relieved and a whole lot more comfortable and confident once it was all cleared up’.

Christian also takes UT Rescue from Elements, a supplement that delivers effective support when suffering from UTI symptoms caused by E.coli.

He adds that his girlfriend at the time was ‘very supportive’ and they both read up on UTIs after he had treatment.

Dr Tang says there needs to be more awareness about the pain UTIs cause, especially for men who feel like they’re no big deal. ‘Reducing the stigma of male UTIs involves increasing awareness and education about the condition,’ he says.

‘Public health campaigns can play a crucial role in normalising the conversation around UTIs in men by highlighting that they can affect anyone, regardless of gender. 

‘Doctors and pharmacists should actively discuss UTIs with men, ensuring they understand the symptoms and the importance of seeking treatment. 

‘Encouraging open conversations in community and support groups can also help men feel more comfortable sharing their experiences. 

‘By promoting a more inclusive understanding of UTIs, it’s possible to break down the barriers of stigma and encourage timely medical intervention, this ultimately improves health outcomes for men’.

Newfoundland Diagnostics and scientific sauce brand The Lazy Scientist, have created a hot sauce (to be consumed) imitating the symptoms of a UTI to encourage conversations around the impact infections can have on people, particularly women. The ‘Feel The Burn’ hot sauce is available online for free when you purchase a UTI test from www.newfoundland.io.

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